


Letter to my younger self.

by Emmaliene



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 04:24:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmaliene/pseuds/Emmaliene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry writes himself a letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letter to my younger self.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or it characters. As such, I make no profit from this story.
> 
> *****

A forty year old Harry sat there staring at the blank parchment in front of him, quill in hand at the ready. This was supposed to be a fun exercise. At least, Ron and Hermione had said it was fun. And if Ron thought it was fun, well, it couldn't be too bad. It seemed like such a simple thing to do; Write a letter to your younger self.  
Ron had let Harry take a look at his letter. Ron had basically written a to-do list with vague explanations. Things like "Dump the Cannons. They'll only let you down." "She's always right. Mum, Mione, Gin, whichever one it is. SHE. IS. RIGHT." "Don't jiggle them just after they've been fed, baby puke is horrid." Harry's favourite though, was the last phrase, which simply read, "When she starts to get angry, kiss her until she forgets why." Harry knew Ron used this tactic a lot. He couldn't help but smile at the thought. Ron and Hermione had never lost their spark. They would always row, and Harry and Ginny would end up looking after Rose and Hugo for the weekend, mostly so his best friends could make up. In all fairness, he and Ginny were prone to have the occasional argument, just for the making up, then it was Hermione and Ron's turn for babysitting.

Harry touched his quill onto the parchment and held it there. A large black dot of ink slowly growing onto the pristine paper as he thought. Then, he finally began to write.

 

Dear Harry,  
Happy birthday mate. You're ten now, which is old enough to realise that something isn't quite "normal" when it comes to you. At least, not compared to everybody else you know. I'm almost sorry to say this, but this coming year, is when everything changes. You've known for a while that you're not like everybody else. Vernon and Petunia call you a freak for it, which hurts, but you know it's not true. Deep down, you know. Finding out you're a wizard will be one of the best things that will ever happen to you. Though you won't always think so. And I don't blame you for that. But being a wizard gets you out of that cupboard, out of that house and away from your aunt and uncle. And Dudley. We mustn't forget Dudley. While you're just a punching bag to him right now, it won't always be that way. He'll come around, it might take a few dementors, but it will happen. Eventually. Not that you'll be friends, but he will like you a little more.

The next few years are going to be difficult. No, scratch that. The next eight years are going to be all kinds of hell for you. Fire and brimstone included. You're going to have a madman hell bent on your demise. He won't stop until you're dead. Didn't sugar coat that one. You'll have your friends though, and with them, you can accomplish almost anything.

There will be people you can trust, people you can't trust, people you do trust, people you don't trust, and people you don't want to trust. The difficult thing is finding out which is which. This brings me to Dumbledore. He was an incredible wizard, though very cryptic, he always had your best interest at heart. Then there's Snape. The greasy git. He was an arse through and through, and if he ever found out I named one of my boys for him, he'd hex me into oblivion, bring me back and do it again, just for shits and giggles. But know this, he was always on your side. Yes, he hated you, but he loved your mother dearly. Everything he did, every time he went to that madman, risked his life, he did it for her. To help her son. He was, as it turns out, a great man. Even if he was a bastard about it. There's also Draco Malfoy. I can't say that I regret not shaking his hand that day, but I do sometimes catch myself wondering "What if?" He was an A-grade bully. He wasn't forced into hexing, taunting or name calling. No, that's all on him, but I wonder, if I had befriend him, would he have been different? The one thing I do regret, when it comes to Malfoy, is the curse I hit him with. I had no idea what it was, and I was reckless for using it on him. I almost became a murderer that day, and the image of him, on that cold stone floor, still sometimes haunts me.

Over the next eight years, you'll see and do incredible things. Some good, like discovering a hidden place, lost so long ago it was thought to have never existed. Some bad, having your blood used to resurrect the most hated and evil wizard known. Then there's the grey areas. Using unforgivable curses. To save the lives of you and your two best friends. It just goes to show that while there is good and evil out there, there is also something in between. Light, dark and shadow. During a war, there is less good and bad, and a whole lot more shadow. Sure we're the good guys, they're the bad guys. But there's the ones in between, spying for us, sending us messages, informing us of raids, giving names and locations, and risking their lives to end the war as quickly as possible. There are people on the other side that don't want to be there. Living in a world where turning against your own family means certain death, it leaves them with no choice but to agree and do as you're told if they want to live. There are good people, doing whatever it takes to stay alive, killing, using dark curses, or just hiding, refusing to put themselves in danger. I don't blame them, I never wanted anybody to put their lives on the line for me. Because that's what it came down to in the end. That's all He wanted. Me.

When it was finally over, there were so many that were lost to us. Family, friends, loved ones. Just gone. There isn't anybody I know who didn't lose somebody close to them because of that war. Fred's death hit the Weasley's hard. Molly was distraught. Arthur was inconsolable, believing he'd let his son down, that he'd failed to protect him like a father should. George was the worst. He was lost. It was two and a half years after Fred's funeral when he finally laughed again. Molly was taking a pie out of the oven for dinner, and as she bent over, she farted. It just burst out of him and we were a little startled by the sudden sound coming from him, but ultimately, we joined in. It didn't suddenly bring him back to his old self, but it was the beginning of him healing. Losing Remus and Tonks was horrible. Sirius's death had been hard, and I still blame myself for it. But Remus, he was the last connection I had to my parents, but he was also one of my dearest friends. He was family, and losing him broke my heart. Knowing I had Teddy to look out for, that he had survived this mess, I was just thankful that he wasn't one of the so many innocent that was lost.

Ginny was my saviour. It sounds like such a cliché, but she kept me grounded and focused when I was being pulled in every direction. During the days, she was my rock. The one person who kept me on track, who kept me from doing stupid impulsive things that would have gotten me hurt. Still does even now. During the nights, I was there for her. She was so strong for her family, taking over the house duties while Molly mourned Fred, and just doing whatever she could to keep her family from falling apart. And she took care of me. She was so strong for everybody, so in the dark of night, I was strong for her. Holding her tight, as she cried herself to sleep. We've never slept apart since. The night of Teddy's third birthday, we made love for the first time. We didn't plan it, but we had talked about it, and practised contraceptive charms. We were in love, not stupid. Taking her, giving myself to her that night, it was like discovering magic all over again. Being inside her, it just felt so right, holding her just as close as she held me, our names whispered between us as I slowly moved above her. She bloodied her lip when she bit down on it, stopping herself from making too much noise as she peaked. Her muscles tightening around my length, causing me to spill inside her. I had to push my face into the pillow beside her head to smother my shout. When we woke the next morning, the first thing I said was "I'm going to marry you." She just laughed and said "You bet your skinny arse your are." And that was it.

It took a long time for the wizarding world to heal from that war. In some aspects, it is still healing. But things have also changed. They had to. Everything had been destroyed, or broken during those dark times. And so, as the rubble and debris was cleared, so was the animosity and hostility between many of the survivors. And a new society was built on the foundations of acceptance, forgiveness and tolerance. While there are still a few who believe that things were fine as they were, most of us know better.

Well Harry, there you have it. Congratulations, your a wizard. Not many ten year old boys living in cupboards get to hear that on their birthday. But then, you always did know that you were different. 

But in all seriousness, if there's only one thing you take from this Harry, just know, everything will be okay in the end.

\- Harry

 

Harry put his quill down. He didn't intend to write so much, and he certainly didn't mean for it to be so, well... He wanted to write something funny like Ron had. Not this. But now that it was on the parchment, he couldn't think of anything else he would have written in its place. He never spoke much about the war, he'd kept it all bottled up inside him, not wanting to burden anybody with his problems when they had their own. He found this to be quite cathartic. Sighing, he stood from his chair and stretched his cramped muscles. He took the parchment, folded it in half, and placed it in the drawer of his desk. His children were were sleeping over at Ron and hermione's, and he had a very beautiful wife upstairs. It was time for bed, and neither of them were tired.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: When I was in school, we had this assignment given to us from our creative writing teacher. Write a letter to your younger self. We were a lazy class, and so, she expected us to hand in a page each. She nearly fainted when I gave her six pages, handwritten, front and back. I thought it was a good assignment, and I'd put everything into it. My highest hopes, as well as my darkest thoughts. When she asked me why it was six pages, I told her that I had to cut it short because my hand was cramping. I swear, her eyes just about popped out of her head. I couldn't help but laugh and tell her the truth; I just wasn't sure where or how to finish it, so I kept writing. Her expectations rose, however, my popularity in that class did not.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked this one.
> 
> -Emmaliene


End file.
